it was good

Thanks to all the SR kids for still being my friends after all these years. It's always a little scary coming back home after a stint abroad cause I'm afraid all my favorite people will have drifted away and forgotten about me. I know, it was only three months, but after 9 months in Paris this last year and school for the next 20 months, it's kind of a lot of time away. So it's a relief when I can go out to karaoke with the Tin Circus crew or grab a diner breakfast with fellow high school band nerds.

For readers who weren't there last night and who are curious, last night I sang alone in public for pretty much the first time in my life: The Man Who Sold the World (by David Bowie, covered by Nirvana) and Ob la di (The Beatles). BTW, who would have guessed that the Flamingo Hotel would have a karaoke night? I always thought it was just some lame hotel.

So that was it for my time up in SR. Sorry I couldn't spend more time up there. I hope I'll be able to come back this summer. I've got my return ticket, but if I'll be on my way to China or India or something it'd be kind of crazy to try to get home. But I'll see what I can do. A year and a half without you guys would be waaaaay too long.

xoxo

One more for the road

Well, I'm about to have a crazy day of class, packing, last-minute shopping, and Risk (the latter with Claire, who loves board games and may have dictatorial tendencies), so next time you hear from me I'll be less than 60 miles away, depending on where you live. Wish me luck for my 3-hour stay in Texas. Oh, and parents and sis are gonna be in SF the evening I get in, so I'm good for a ride up to SR. See you soon!

Yeah, well it's important to me!

I got my USB key back! Last week! The day after I lost it I went to the lost and found and was amazed to see the guy pulling my beloved flash drive out of a drawer. The thing really is essential for life here.

I have to admit it's getting better

Well, it's inevitable that after a crappy week the week before last I find myself having a great time again. I'm not sure exactly what it was today, but I just had a really cool time in class and with people in my masters. Despite starting class at 8am with statistics and economic theory (econometrics for those of you not taking notes), and after two slightly frustrating hours of matrix algebra and huge data sets, we managed to use this powerful statistical software all by ourselves. Yes, we only managed to replicate the results of a journal article, but it was still a cool moment: after several misfires, we finally put in the right variables in the right order, got the error correction to work, interpreted the results, and could test and critique the results in the published article. Nerdy, I know, but it was cool.

For the next class a few hours later we had the awesome American lecturer, and despite the fact that I don't know how I'm going to go back to listening to the French profs (and being like my French friends in class today), I got the most I could out of this guy. I got good responses to questions, had actually done the reading and could explain the article in a few sentences to the class, and explained stuff in French to the other students afterwards, etc. Yes, if you didn't know already, I am a total nerd. But this guy is a big name, who knows if could help to not appear like an idiot in front of him? Afterwards I chatted with a few of the French girls in my class and their boyfriends (freshly arrived from South America) and just had a grand old time making fun of each others' accents, basically having another three-language, complicated conversation like at the party on Friday.

All in all, life is good. I'm glad I'll be at home for xmas. And for those of you (including myself a few months ago) who were hoping I'd hate it here, sorry to disappoint, I really will only be in the States for a week. Unless things tank from here on. In any case though, I can't wait to see all of you.

And now, a few photos leeched from my friend's blog, both from the evening at Favela Chic (my favorite real club) a few weeks ago:





James, me, Ramon

Can you believe I was dancing for an hour before this, and an hour or two after? Who knew I would start going out to dance?



DJ and MC, all artsy and black and white

improving ... improving

I know, I know, I've been neglecting the old blog this week. But here you get another slightly tipsy, full-week update:

All in all, I'm happy again to be here. After my whiney-ass posts on Monday I realized that I was being dumb, and this week was pretty good. It probably helped that I had Tuesday off from school since our professor was out of town. I can't remember what I did though, other than the fact that I really should have worked more than I did. People in my masters are starting to grumble under the strain of 200 pages of extremely dense and complicated econ journal articles a week. I'm just glad they're all in English.

On Wednesday I had a meeting with the head of the masters to discuss what people think about the program. I'm the delegate of the whole masters, so it's my job to present peoples' grievances and whatnot. Everyone is pretty happy with the program, but there are plenty of small things that are pretty annoying. It was really weird to have two people hanging on my every word (or seeming to) and asking me to go into a more in-depth critique.

God, I can't even remember what I did this week. And no, it's not because it was all fun and alcohol, you know I'm not into that. Oh yeah, I went to see the new Harry Potter movie with Claire and was disappointed. I don't like the replacement they got for the head wizard guy (dumbledorf?) and the script had some unbelievably cheesey parts in it, way more than the last time. It's fun though that Voldemort is back, that should make for an interesting sequel (I know, I could just read the books, but I only read econ these dasy). On the other hand, it turns out that these child actors aren't real actors. You don't notice so much when they're still cute and innocent, but when their voices have changed and Hermione is growing breasts, you notice that they just suck at acting. Or maybe it was the fact that they had yet another director, and a crappy screenplay. I dunno. Oh, and Claire beat me at backgammon later.

Whatever, you can tell it's 3am when I start going off on Harry Potter. What else happened this week? Contributing to my positive attitude about schools was another guest arriving from UC Davis to present his paper on the latent effects of war on trade. It wasn't that I'm so into the topic, but it was just cool to watch an interesting social scientific debate. One of my profs was there, as was the American guest lecturer, and they kept poking at the guest's assumptions for his model and whatnot. I mean, it was scientific peer review going on right in front of me. Pretty cool for a nerd like me.

But the fun part of this week was tonight, when this English/French guy Tom had a bunch of his non-school friends over to his place. At one point there was this really weird conversation that took place in English, French, and Spanish, since I don't speak Spanish, the Mexican guy doesn't speak French, and his girlfriend (in my masters) refuses to speak English out of embarassment. Later on I was listening to these guys I know speak Italian and was delighted when I realized that I actually understood some of it. That was way cool.

ok, ok

ok, ok, I'll stop being a whiney SOB. I've got it pretty great here by any measure. Gnite all.

I'm a loser baby

I lost my usb key today. The 40 euros to replace it would have been much better spent on Champagne and wine. Sorry Matt.

It's their own damn fault!

This school has some crazy reputation here, and the administration milks it for all it's worth. These guys talked it up and haven't delivered. It's not arrogance to be slightly disappointed.

Why would they do that?

We had a guest lecturer today, an extremely tall Philipino-American guy from Saint Louis. For anyone interested, he was talking about Coase and the theoretical origin of firms based on internalizing transaction costs. Quite interesting really. But I have to say, they really shouldn't have let this guy loose on us. He was extremely articulate, funny, dynamic, good story teller, very clear explainer, without powerpoint slides, etc. In a word, he kicked the asses of all the profs I've had so far.

They really should have waited until the end of the semester to bring this guy in because I learned a ton in one two-hour session. I don't want to think that I could be learning a lot more at another university. But it's not like I would have been likely to apply to an econ program in the States. I guess I could go all crazy and try to get a PhD after this thing, but what would be the point of that? It's kind of silly to do all that just to take a some more interesting classes and avoid work. Also, I'm not sure if with this school I'd actually be qualified to do a PhD after this school. A Masters in the states means more than a Masters in France, I'm realizing. Wait, I need to shut the hell up so everybody will be impressed when I get back.

No, Matt, I'm not bitter or the arrogant American, I'm not the only one who thinks this. Well, maybe we're all bitter, and maybe I'm getting arrogant too, whatevah. Is it really arrogance when a bunch of other people (non-Americans) feel the same way? I really don't want to be a whiney bastard, I really want to enjoy my program, it's just been annoying me lately. But it seems like next semester should be better once we get the basics down. And the research project is still really cool, as are all the people I've met. Sigh ...

I really need to get over this BS and enjoy the fact that I'm living and studying in Paris. What's not to like? Just tell me to shut up.

Pancakes and backgammon

Had quite a nice day today. I started out by getting up late and meeting Claire for brunch at an American-style diner called Breakfast in America few blocks from her place -- I had been craving pancakes after my week being annoyed with school. It was so great! Pancakes, scrambled eggs, bacon, unlimited watery coffee, exactly like something back home, including coffee mugs they'd collected from diners all over the US. I wish Lyon's was still around. I also got a decent brownie for the road. Yum.

Afterwards we walked to the newly renovated Grand Palais to check out an exhibit called Melancholie, all about representations of melancholy in art over the last 2,000 years or so. But there was a long line and it was cold (I only had a long-sleeved shirt two t-shits on -- I learned my lesson), so we went to the Champs Elysees just next door. Claire had never been there before (she's from Strasbourg, not Paris) so we walked around a bit and tried to find a movie. We were going to check out the new Harry Potter but the only one that was going to be playing soon turned out to be the version française. What the hell? We were so disappointed. I wanted to keep my all-American afternoon going but stupid French linguistic pride got in the way. Dammit!

We decided to head over to Bastille and get hot chocolate, because on the Champs a hot chocolate costs like 6 euros 50 and the cafes are full of tourists. We went to a cafe where my cousin Blessings got hit on by some woman who wouldn't stop staring at her. Apparently, while my cousin's husband was in the bathroom this woman "shook her titties" at her. I didn't have the same experience, which would have been kind of awkward in front of Claire, but we did make a backgammon board out of paper and had a lovely time until Claire laughed on the board and the pieces went flying all over the place. She was ahead but I'm convinced I could have come back.

Then I went to dinner at the apartment of my former English student Edouard (Edward, for the monolingual among you). No, he's not the gay count I taught last year, he got computer lessons. I would have liked to keep giving lessons, but it's just not worth the time. Claire took over for me, and I'm much happier just stressing out at school instead of trying to figure out what I could possibly teach Edward for an hour and a half without being boring. Anyway, the family is really cool and sweet, and Edouard is now almost 15. They didn't break out the champagne this time though, but it's for the best because we all have to work or go to school tomorrow, and I have this really annoying cough. But champagne would have been nice. I'm going to have to smuggle some onto the plane with me when I catch my flight back to Paris on New Year's Eve.

Maybe it's just the weather

This was a long week, even though it flew by. Saturday night I was up until 6am, then I spent all but 3 1/2 hours Sunday night working on an article for the magazine in the States. I had six hours of classes Monday, including four of econometrics starting at 8 am in a ghetto computer lab. Then I was up Monday night until 2 am finishing my article, but at least I got to sleep in on Tuesday. But then classes were just kinda sucking this week. The other people in my program feel kinda lost too.

Today I had to hand in my paper about whether there is more political passion in the air these days. Speaking about the US, I said of course, in poorly phrased French, after having spent all day yesterday marvelling at how stupid and vague the question was. It took me forever to write a fairly simple five page paper (double-spaced), and I spent most of last night working on it. And this after my Thursday afternoon (obvious) revelation:

I went to a professor's office hours and halfway through we switched to English (he lived in London for five years, but he stutters and has a very strong accent -- not a good combination). At that point I realized how much my limited French skills are a handicap. I was so happy to be able to ask questions without sounding like a child, I could respond to nuances in what he was saying instead of just absorbing stuff and hoping I wouldn't have any questions. There was even some manner of debate. It made me realize that I would probably be getting a lot more academic knowledge out of an education in English.

Also, the language classes are a joke (two hours once a week) and the library complaint still stands. In addition, half of the class time for the entire semester in half of my academic classes is devoted to these stupid-ass exposé presentation things. I'm not the only person who thinks this is a waste of time and basically just a way for professors to do less work. I'd much rather have a full two hours of lecture plus a paper to write, instead of listening to speedy French students or halting foreigners (like me) try to sound intelligent enough to impress the teacher. I sound like a fucking fool when I try to speak up in class, while if it was in English I know I'd be perfectly ok. But the good side for the profs is that they talk less and don't grade any papers. But who is paying their fucking salaries? That's right, the foreign kids. Excuse me for being slightly bitter. I know a number of foreigners who are disappointed, so it's not just me getting annoyed.

That said, the advantages of this school (that I couldn't get in the US) are:

the international atmosphere
cool students (especially the foreigners--I'd feel like an idiot if there weren't so many extremely intelligent foreigners here too)
Paris
opportunities for research abroad
the challenge of studying in another language (reconsidering that one)
the adventure of just seeing how the hell this is going to turn out
cheapness (but still 5x more than most EU students)
the possibility of working in Europe afterwards

All that is worth a lot. Is it enough?

To be honest, if I didn't have the research abroad thing next year I don't know if I'd stick out the program. Not that I have any idea what I would do in its place (US grad school deadlines are next week). But, at least this week, the possibilities for the research project are keeping me here for the whole program. That, and the list of cool stuff above.

Or maybe I feel this way because it's cold and grey and I feel a little under the weather and I need more sleep. But the fact remains that the president of this school totally oversold it, in addition to being a total jackass:



You gotta hand it to him though, it worked.

Overreact much?

Ok, so maybe I was a little harsh in my last post. Or not. But I'm freshly arrived home after a lovely evening with a bunch of people from my masters program. It was a quiet affair, just a few people and a few bottles of wine and potato chips, but representing five or six countries. Although it's always a little more complicated when people are constantly switching between French, Spanish, and English, I really like it. Evenings like this are a big reason why I'm going to this school, and they make me forget all the insane bullshit we have to deal with at school.

So although none of the people there tonight know I have a blog, I just want to say thanks for a nice evening. You guys are great.



And yes, I am slightly tipsy.

xoxo

Make it stop!

One of these days I would like to take a couple of hours and just do nothing. No reading, no internet, no email, no laundry, no cleaning, no meeting people for a drink ... nothing whatsoever. It sounds like sleep, but I need something more. These days from the moment I get up I am either doing something, or screwing around and thinking I should be doing something, adding more and more tasks to the todo list that I never get to.

How is it already Wednesday? It's amazing how quickly the weeks fly by. It's probably partly because I have a full Monday with three whole classes (six hours) and it makes the rest of the week seem like a breeze and I just coast to the weekend. That said, I have an essay due on Friday and I'm already wondering when I'm going to have enough long blocks of time to really work on it. I should do a lot tonight, but there's this funk jam session that a few of us have been planning to go to for almost a week now. I'll just have to skip my extremely dull and lame Friday morning class, like I usually do, and finish the stupid thing instead of getting more sleep.

Crevé

I am so exhausted. Late nights Friday and Saturday night (including a backgammon tournament until like 3 am, then intense work since Sunday for an article about toiturophiles (roof walkers?) for France Today. I sent it off at 2 am this morning and I'm so glad to forget about it. Still have to figure out what to do about photos though. So yesterday I was like the walking dead. Fortunately, so was everyone else and I fit in perfectly. But it's just not cool to have such big bags under my eyes. Hope they'll go away before xmas or Mom is gonna be a little worried. At least it's interesting stuff though.

At the other end of the spectrum, for a couple of weeks a few years ago I was working like 60 hours a week for a law firm and although the overtime pay was great, when all you're doing is helping Visa beat Walmart, you don't really care. Oh, and overtime pay is so overtaxed! You think you're getting this huge check, and the $300 in overtime you should get turns into like $100 in your pocket. My youth and vitality is worth more than $100! Bastards!

But at least the article is done now, and the only thing to look forward to is going to see a funk jam session tomorrow night and writing my first paper for Sciences Po. The question: "Are we experiencing a return of passion in politics?" Um ... hard to say. Everyone I know sure has been. But it's kind of like the question for my presentation in February: "Are religious wars coming back?" You can pretty much answer these questions however you want, as long as the argument is sound. Why ask such broad questions if the answer doesn't matter?

Last thing: for those of you waiting for replies to emails, I'll hopefully be getting to those tonight.

A night on the town

It was so hard to work today! I skipped my super-boring 'political issues' lecture and got a croissant instead, then had my cool but overwhelmingly fast-speaking 'political issues' conférence (can't remember what it's called in English -- basically the discussion aspect of the class), then got engrossed in a conversation about American politics and skipped French. Oh, and I spilled hot coffee on a friend.

On the upside, I hung out with this French girl from my class, thereby breaking down the barrier between the locals and the internationals a bit. She's like 21 and still pretty idealistic about things. It's pretty cool really, it's not that great to be jaded. That said, I feel old. I'm at least 3 years older than most of the people here, so while I would be young for grad school in the States I'm really pushing it here.

But I've managed to keep my reputation as the party guy, of all things. Tonight one of the French girls from my program was performing (she plays bass) at some random, packed dive bar that I would love to go back to, and although I couldn't get anywhere near the stage it was good fun to peek at her through the crowd from time to time. Who knew traditional French music would be such a draw?

Later, on the métro the guys I was with and I started talking about some of the silly/crazy things our moms had done. This girl standing next to us then asked us if we would please temper our raucus laughter with a few stories about things our dads had done. Despite this odd opening, we ended up talking about tout et n'importe quoi (anything and everything) all the way to our destination, the infamous Favela Chic.

When we got there it was already pretty packed, but people were still coming in. Like the evening there almost exactly a month ago, it was a great mix of sexy people and bartenders, pop and brazilian music and random hiphop. Do you need a sign that it was good fun, besides the fact that I'm posting this at 3:45 am?

Good clean fun, lots of dancing, a few drinks -- a successful Friday night if you ask me. Not much of substance to blog about, sorry gang, but it was tons o' fun.

Jeez, I should be sleeping or doing work. I'm such a slacker!

it's the little things, part two

The internet connection here has screwed up like three emails I've tried to send today. I am so disgusted that the Fondation des Etats-Unis, representing the country that invented the internet, can't get a decent wireless network running. I hope this posting will work.

Whatever. Incompetent idiots. I now hate where I live, though will pass soon enough. But this totally cancels out having working heat. These are basic services, I shouldn't be impressed when they work. Oh, and the vending machine is out of sandwiches. I already had dinner, but it's a question of principle.

Why are the gods arrayed against me???