nothing much

It's been a while since I last updated this thing, so what's happened since then? Not much really, just working hard to keep up with my classes. Things are finally picking up as the semester is winding down, and I'm trying to get ahead on some of the projects I'm supposed to be turning in over the next few weeks. So that means less time for fun, less time for going out, etc. I spent last weekend studying with Claire and we both wonder how we're going to get through the rest of the year. I'm also running out of money in my French bank account, but it's kinda fun to see how little I can live on.

With that, I'm off to bed.

Calling Freud ...

I just woke up from another weird dream tonight. I want to write it down before I forget, and it's 6 am, so no comments about incoheerence or typos.

As I was going to bed tonight, I got an email from the guy who was trying to set me up with an internship at the research institute in India. He just wanted to let me know that I'd been accepted, and that they were willing to pay me while I was there, but they wanted me to come in November, which was annoying.

But I was thinking damn, why didn't he get back to me sooner, since I'm all but in Bogota already by now. I've started doing some preliminary research on the project, and I'm part of a team and getting really excited about the whole thing. The email just made my life more complicated. The November arrival would be enough to get me out of having to change my plans completely, and without looking like a jackass to this very nice contact. But what if they changed their offer, so that I could go to Delhi in September or something?

This was really bothering me, but then I realized that I don't actually remember getting that email and that I'm probably dreaming. So I woke up to go check my email ... nothing. So I'm still going to Bogota.

The vividness of the dream, and the theme of dreaming of being in bed thinking about something that could well have happened but still wondering if I was dreaming, reminds me of another, recurring (for pretty much the first time in my life) dream I've had this year. I'm talking on the phone in bed when I fall asleep, leaving the other person listening to me snoring. For some reason I don't realize that they would obviously hang up. I then wake up in real life and scramble to find the phone to see if the person is still on the line, feeling really embarrassed for having been so rude. Of course, I was never talking to anyone, but for a few seconds I'm totally disoriented.

The same thing happens when I dream that I have a friend over in my room, and I wake up feeling embarrassed because I'm only wearing boxers and it just isn't appropriate.

These last two dreams have happened a couple of times and I can't figure out why. They're kind of funny, but weird. Is anyone into Freud? Psychonalyses are welcome in comments.

Shouldn't be doing this

I'm sitting in class now, listening to an explanation of hedge and mutual funds. I thought people knew this stuff already. My classmates and I usually read the Financial Times, so you'd think they'd have some idea.

In other news, I'm excited and horrified to announce that I actually have some work to do for the rest of the semester. Stupidly maybe, I'm signing up for a research paper seminar that requires a 30-40 pp single-spaced paper due at the end of the semester. I've got another 15-20 pp (double-spaced) paper a few weeks earlier.

The work is going to be horrible, but for this corresponds a lot more to my idea of what a masters is about -- long papers, not stupid exams. On the downside, I won't be able to see Claire as much w/o feeling guilty. But then again, she's swamped too so maybe we'll go study together. It'll be so romantic!

What else ... the weather is getting nicer, so picnics are becoming more common. Hopefully I'll have a bit of a tan when I get back, but with all the library time I'll be putting in, that's slightly unlikely. Oh well.

The people in my masters, as much as I enjoy their company, have a tendency to be whiners from time to time. This week they're trying to change exam dates, get out of presentations, etc. because these things are a pain in the ass. But jeez people, get used to doing some work for once! We hardly do anything in class, and it's not through exams that you actually learn anything. Of course, they're not paying much for this education, and they're not coming back to school after working. I understand it, but it's annoying, especially since I'm the one who has to try to negotiate with the professors (and it's not working).

But in general, life is good.

2nd update

Well, I've decided to go to Bogota. I'll go to India another time. Of course, as those of you who were around when I was trying to decide whether to go back to Paris know, I could change my mind 50 times in a day.

I'll also be arriving in SF on July 6, to head off to Colombia on July 22 if I can get a ticket. It's not long, but longer than at xmas this last year, which was really too short.

One other detail: I might be able to do another short internship from December to January working on organizing a technology conference in India. So I could hit both countries! I should know more next week.

See you all again soon!

They want me!

Here's an update on my internship hunt:

The Columbia project is all set up and ready to go, I just need to confirm. I'd be with three very cool people from my masters, I'd be paid, I'd have a nice advisor, a shared office, and a project and thus essentially my masters thesis already chosen (and I hate coming up with topics). It'd be about immigration issues, which definitely interests me. Columbia is supposed to be just beautiful, and the people lovely. I'd come out speaking beautiful Columbian Spanish! And I'd even have time to travel to India before the next semester starts. But I either need to tell them yes on Monday, or stall like crazy for another week.

Like a dumbass, I waited until late last week write to some contacts in India, and they're already starting to respond positively, though not with an internship. It actually seems like something could come together pretty quickly, and one option in New Delhi is a badass-looking research institute.

It's kind of intimidating, actually. There are no young people in the place, i.e. it's not a university, and the researchers are dealing with some pretty important subjects in terms of geopolitics (e.g. trade, biotech, food exports, energy, the environment). And India is becoming a heavyweight in the world, with a population that will surpass China's by 2040.

I would have my own project to define, letting me sink or (preferably) swim and see what I can really do without anyone holding my hand. But I'd be alone, in the rain, surrounded by begging children. And unpaid. And I haven't even gotten an email from anyone at the institute, so there's a huge chance nothing will come of it, leaving me with neither India nor Columbia.

Also, for all the publicity about Indian economic growth, much of the population is still staggeringly poor and never having left the West I have no idea what that's like. India is supposed to be a mind-blowing place that you either love or flee from.

India sounds more interesting in an absolute sense than Columbia, not knowing much about either country, and I imagine myself being more adventurous than a cushy, ready-made gig in Columbia, is appealing. But the Columbia project would be really interesting, and fun, and having everything ready for us to hit the ground running would be nice. One of my major complaints about Sciences Po is the lack of academic support and responsiveness, and for once they're totally coming through (you know it's just 'cause the guy organizing it worked on his PHD at Berkeley). That would make life a lot easier for the thesis.

So as usual, I dunno what to do. Take the sweet Columbia gig that's all set up and just waiting for me and my friends to land, or cross my fingers for something totally undefined and unsure in India but that could have a big payoff in terms of broader horizons and the job hunt later on. I didn't want to take the Columbia thing without having an alternative to compare it to, and now I might have that and I'm paralyzed. Note to self: you're a dumbass.