one down!

I finally finished my crazy paper about India!!!!!!

Twenty-three pages, single-spaced, with bibliography, tables, and charts. My senior thesis wasn't even that long! The worse of it? I did way more work for this than most of my classes, and it's only worth 1.5 credits, if that. I've got two classes worth 7.5 and 5 credits respectively, and I didn't do hardly anything for them. This place is so weird.

Anyway, now all I've got is three exams Saturday. Luckily though I don't have to do that well to pass my classes, which at this school is all I aspire to.

So close to being done! See you guys in a few days.

Because some people don't know how awkward they are

Why is life so funny sometimes? I was walking around the building where I live putting up signs to sell my fridge and get my stolen/lost rollerblades back, and I ran into this guy who was chatting up some girl in the hallway.

Now this is not just any guy. The first time I met him he was wandering down the hall in those funky underwear/boxer things that aren't either. He was also babbling something about the shower, but in incomprehensible French. Now this is not a problem, I have made plenty of my own mistakes, and my accent was pretty terrible at one time as well. But this guy was nearly naked and shouting down the hall about the shower, because he hadn't thought to investigate this before leaving his room with his balls barely concealed.

I saw him later that afternoon at the computer lab, where he sat down at a computer, then frantically ran out. I had been waiting for a spot so I could print, so his departure meant (to me) that the computer was available. This was not case, he said, when he came back breathless with the guy from the front desk to ask some innane question about how to login. He tapped on my shoulder and told me to get up. I politely told him to go fuck himself, seeing as he had hardly been very nice about telling me to leave, and he explained that he'd left his trashy water bottle on the desk to save his spot. Whatever dude, I wasn't moving. He went to another computer, at which point I cursed him aloud (I was a little stressed). He eventually came over to apologize for acting like a dick (though surely less dick-like than I had been in the meantime), and we ended up doing a sort of hand-slapping handshake thing like you do with friends you've known for a while, so of course it was all good.

I saw him later in the library and he started speaking incomprehensibly again. We switched to English. Turns out he's taking French where I was last year. And he's actually very nice, if unbelievably clueless. He's been accepted by the Peace Corps and will be going somewhere in French-speaking Africa, hence the (desperately needed) French classes in Paris. I can't help imagining him stuck in some village trying to be so earnest and helpful but generally only annoying the hell out of everyone.

Anyway, I've not run into him lately, until today. The context: a lot of people are moving out so there's a lot of crap like dishes and couches out in the hall, free for the taking. This guy was afraid that he'd taken too much stuff, or wasn't sure it was really free (too good to be true!), so he asked the first attractive girl he saw moving out if it was hers. And what, you might ask, had he taken? The Kama Sutra! Now this is a pretty good looking guy I think, but he's just sooooo awkward! This is my rough transcription of his conversation:

Guy: It's the Kama Sutra.
Girl: Oh, that wasn't mine.
Guy: Oh, have you read it? It's about sex and stuff.
Girl: Yeah
Guy: Yeah, but it's also a philsophy, right?
Girl: Yeah
Guy: You know I studied philosophy [hence the Peace Corps gig instead of a real job -- just kidding Dad!] and we sort of touched on that
Girl: ...
Guy: ...

Girl walks away.

It was brilliant! I hope he buys my fridge.

I love Steven!

This is just a followup on my post on Steven Seagal's band (among other things).

I can't believe this guy has a well-reviewed CD on Amazon.com. I mean, he's (was) a kung fu action hero, and a bad one at that! I can't imagine how bad it must be, despite the four- and five-star customer reviews:

S. Seagal rulz!

The following quotes are from one review:

"I saw Steven Seagal on May 27th at the Tractor Tavern in Seattle."

That sounds like such a cool place!

"I don't care what ANYBODY says, Steven Seagal's Mountain Dew commercial is the GREATEST soft drink ad EVER MADE. My previous favorite was Cindy Crawford's Pepsi Super Bowl ad.

After seeing Steven Seagal's Mountain Dew commercial, I purchased 16 of his movies here on Amazon. I now consider myself one of his biggest fans."

[Shudder ...]

"Sharp-eyed fans will notice that the guitar Steven is holding on the cover is the EXACT same model as BB King's Lucille."

Because that makes a guitar player good.

Gah, how did this man ever become famous???

random photo update!

Instead of writing a new section for a much too long paper that's due tomorrow, I've decided to procrastinate by giving you a random photo update. I'll just stay up all night to finish this damn thing, as usual. So here we go ...

To start with, one should never forget that while Paris is the most-visited city in the world, and is quite beautiful and all the rest, every once in a while you see some incredibly random stuff:

Did you know that Steven Seagal has a band? This is an ad promoting their concert at one of the biggest venues in Paris, as well as their new hot CD! Did anyone else run out to buy it on release day?!?!?



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This is another metro ad. Yes, it says Cock Robin.



For more info:
http://www.google.com/musica?aid=-V7n3rQEG8P&sa=X&oi=music&ct=result

And iTunes:
http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewArtist?id=15411992

This is also the name of a fishing boat in New Jersey.

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Moving on, refrigerated trucks aren't just terrific, they're frigorifique!



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Anyone remember Michael Flately and Riverdance? Well, they're back!



At the bottom of the poster it says, "They come from Ireland, they've conquered the planet, it's staggering!" ... which is exactly how I'd have put it.

My Irish friend James thinks Michael Flately is shit, however. Here he is mocking him during our trip to Strasbourg with Claire:



Oh yeah, did I mention that I went to Strasbourg with James and Claire and met Claire's parents? They were really nice, and we ate way too well, but some of the pressure was off because they didn't actually know Claire and I were dating. I imagine they've guessed by now but it's just not something her family talks about. I'll post pictures of the weekend when I get them from Claire.

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One weekend a month or so ago I got sick of my beard. So for those of you who have never known me without one, prepare to be shocked! For everyone else, are you feeling as nostalgic for the good old, cleanshaven days as I am? Maybe I should grow my hair out ...



I've got one photo with my face have shaved, and another where I have 19th century-style chops, but I don't want to bore you with lots of pics of me.

Well, maybe one more. This one is a little odd. But it's from the three-way I had for my birthday party. A three-way birthday party, that is. This is Ina and me, just after a tequila shot, as indicated by the lime and my slightly queasy look. Tequila: it's just not right.



Ok, and another one. But it's with James. Here we are living the thug life on the Champ de Mars, the grassy area behind the Eiffel Tower.



And then this last one is from last night:



Any idea what that is? Yes, the fresh, grapefruit-sized hole in my ugly ugly couch is all that's left of a narrowly averted disaster. I was trying to sleep while Claire was trying to read a bit more for her exam today. She was doing something on the other side of the room for a minute and then said, "Do you smell something burning?" Seeing the smoke curling up from the couch where the desk lamp was touching the fabric, I jumped out of bed and started throwing water at the couch. When I'd pulled the lamp away from the material there was a glowing crater of melting foam left behind, which really stunk up the room. I'm just glad foam isn't very flammable.

Now, back to work! After a trip to the vending machine for a coke to keep me going. Yes, in France I actually drink the stuff. Go figure.

[Update: I have no idea why I did that face in all those pictures. I swear I haven't become a pouting Frenchman!]

byyyyyyyyyyye

Jeezus, this flock of incredibly annoying American girls just finally left the computer lab. They were having the most inane conversations in what I imagine to be "LA" voices. And at one point they were going on and on about how to spell falloc. I assume none of you are complete idiots, so you wouldn't immediately recognize that as the correct spelling of phallic. And yes, the subject line of this post was my ode to one of the most grating farwells ever. Life is so sweet now by comparison, and I'm just about to start studying for an exam tomorrow morning. Yes, Robin, you really need to get your shit together.

It's all about perceptions

Warning: This is incoherent. It's almost 3:30am and I should have been working or have gone to bed hours ago, but I got stuck reading US news.

Random thoughts:

The perspective people have here of the US is very strange. If you overlook resentment over geopolitics, economics, culture, etc., the US is actually the country to aspire to. I sit in my econ classes learning all sorts of random stuff, and somehow the US always comes out on top. Maybe it's true, statistically speaking, that "the system" in the US is a pretty good one, at least compared to everyone else. But it's hard to believe that when I get back to reading political blogs like DailyKos. It doesn't read like the monolithic "we kick so much ass" it projects in the statistical tables. The political system is remarkably stable compared to pretty much anywhere else, though whenever I'm back home or paying attention from Paris it seems so fragile, progressively undermined by purging of minorities from voter rolls, electronic voting machines, Fox News, Minute Men, and all the rest. It literally seems like a madhouse, yet it's the anchor of the world economy and the geopolitical order. I can't imagine how much more fucked up the rest of the world must be like, which is why Colombia should be interesting.

In other news, it sometimes seems like economists live in a different world. The massive consumer debt and negative savings rate that people are so worried about? It's just balancing weak domestic Chinese demand and it will eventually work itself out (if there isn't a crisis before then). Which is true. Outsourcing jobs to India, workers training their replacement from a developing country, no problem, this is just India getting its shit together, finally, 120 years after deindustrializing (thanks England) and getting mired in poverty. Which is also true. But people understandably have trouble thinking about the welfare of some guy in India who has to fight like crazy (and have been lucky enough to be born in the right state) to get the shitty call center job that put me through junior college. And this will be a glorious, well-paid career no less, assuming India doesn't slide backward into deeper poverty. Of course, no one wants to see their job shipped overseas, but damn, those people need it way more than we do. Unfortunately for India, though, service sector jobs don't need much labor (it's a minuscule number of jobs that are heading over there), so they're going to have to find something else for the 70 million poor, uneducated young people who will be entering the workforce in the next five years.

Did you know that Argentina had the 10th largest economy in the world before 1929? Yes, this is the economy that imploded five short years ago after decades of mismanagement and waste. How the mighty can fall ...

Ah yes, the world is a crazy, crazy place, and I'm amazed that it hasn't imploded yet. Or perhaps blown down/apart like a house of cards is the more appropriate metaphor. In any case, let's all appreciate how incredibly sweet we have it over there in the old US of A. Despite our president, we are the envy of the world. Look at all the stupid things that happen in that country. Look at all the obese poor people everywhere. Read that again: obese poor people. That was an oxymoron for most of human history. Sigh ...

They admire our messy legal institutions, our expensive universities, our decadent car culture, our sophisticated financial markets ... people, we can't just blame American cultural imperialism for this one, the fact is that we live in a world where things in way too many places work so badly that America is the gold standard. Europe may be a hell of a lot classier, but they have their own major issues, like finding jobs, and having enough kids to stablize their population. And great bread isn't everything when way too many jobs (in France) pay minimum wage.

Anyone reading this, I hope you appreciate the paradise that is the coastal US and the incredible luxury of your humble, student-loan laden lives. You'd never make $18 an hour coloring in utility maps or sorting legal documents in France.

I know you guys aren't self-centered idiots, and I don't mean to rant or chastise. I just had to let out the mindfuck that has been building up over the year. Gnite y'all.

Summer in Paris

Also, it's been quite hot lately. We had a reeeeeeeally long winter and skipped spring, arriving directly at summer last week. Good times. And I only have one pair of shorts.

fast forward one month

In exactly one month, I will be in San Francisco.

Between now and then, I will be in hell.

You may not want to read this.

I just sent off one crappy draft for tomorrow. I have to skip an 8am class tomorrow to start a 15 page paper (with 1.5 spacing!) tomorrow about whether or not it makes sense to compare India to China, then go to class from 5 to 9pm, work all night so I can turn in the 15 p. paper at 8am Thursday (shiiiiiiite!), followed by four hours of the same admittedly interesting class the paper is for, prepare questions for a Friday interview that will be part of my thesis research, then write an essay for Spanish class. I think I have to write a quick French paper too for Friday.

Weekend weekend.

Transcribe the interview, which will probably be in French, write a crappy analysis because I don't give a rats ass about the class it's for, do tons of research and reading to write a paper for next Thursday that will solve all of East Asia's exchange rate problems forever (remember, Congress is pissed about the strong Chinese currency) and try to impress the famous, brilliant, and super-nice American professor who taught the class, then prepare a presentation about odious debt, give the talk the next Monday night, prepare four exam questions about trade theory and trade history (essentially write four essays) for an exam the next day at 10.30am, research and write another 10 page paper to turn in that afternoon, then find a place to go hiking around Paris and write a short article about it, then staple all the shitty drafts I've been writing to turn in a final paper about India's economic reforms, prepare for a multiple choice exam (yeah right!), somehow design my research project for all of next year, month by month, then move out of my room and stash my stuff somewhere, start studying for two exams the next day so I can just flunk them, then have six hours of exams, then get a lot of drinks and just be happy grad school is almost finished.

I'll look back on this and laugh, but for the moment I don't know how I'm going to survive. Sorry if that whole list was really boring, I just wanted to scare myself into getting my shit together for all this.

Oh my god, I'm soooooooooo screwed. I shouldn't have made this list.

In happier news, I had a great time in Strasbourg this weekend. Claire's parents are really nice and her dad is a great cook. I managed to talk to the guy for an hour or two, alone! Turns out he's very nice, and very French. Her mom is really sweet and obviously very American. Claire speaks English exactly like she does.

Anyway, I can't think and I wish I could write a whole thing about this weekend. I'll try to post some photos later this week. But probably not (see above).

Busy busy

Things are getting crazy for school, and here I am finally having a birthday party, then heading to Strasbourg (on the German border) with Claire and James til Tuesday to meet her family, and I have to turn in about 25 pages of papers next week (Tuesday and Thursday), and I don't have anything written yet. This is going to be the most hellish week of the year yet I also have to be polite and charming. Wish me luck.